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Bondage Lambert, Dead Michael Jackson Enliven American Music Awards

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In entertainment news, American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert performed simulated bondage sex, including fellatio and reverse buttsecks (“This was not family entertainment“), and engaged in lascivious melisma during the American Music Awards, which gave four prizes (Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist, Favorite Pop/Rock Album, Favorite Soul/R&B Male Artist, and Favorite Soul/R&B Album) to the deceased Michael Jackson. Also, Jennifer Lopez fell down. (“Honey, if that was your comeback, fire the baby sitters and stay home with those twins and your husband the Crypt Keeper.”) The big award was won by somebody named Taylor Swift.

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