That Adam Lambert AMA phoney-baloney outrage thing is working! Good Morning America has cancelled the free Hudson Theatre performance they were going to sponsor. “Given his controversial American Music Awards performance,” says a GMA spokesperson (referring, we assume, to the rather perfunctorily simulated bondage sex), “we were concerned about airing a similar concert so early in the morning.” Yeah, bored housewives might see it — you know how impressionable they are.
We really hope Lambert is smart about this and, instead of excusing himself like he did after the AMA show — or, worse, apologizing — he’ll go to Berlin to be photographed with tranny hookers and Ronnie Biggs, get Steve Albini to produce his next album, and start doing street drugs.
Heed our advice, Adam. The fans who are omging about this are 98 percent fickle tweens who will ditch you at the next growth-spurt for some new twink with a shitty voice and a million dollar wardrobe budget. (The other 2 percent are guerrilla marketers working for you.) Staying adorable for them is a fool’s errand. If you’re to have any staying power, you must acquire fans who will watch in fascination to see whether you’re going to make that great album they know you have in you or drown in your own puke.
They’re not going to revive Les Miz for you, Adam — time to stop that Miley Cyrus pole-dancing shit and get real. Don’t dream it, be it!