While you lily-livers are feasting on turkey and whatnot, rightbloggers are defending Thanksgiving, the nation, and their Second Amendment right to kill hippies.
RedState remembers the first Thanksgiving, in 1941, when “Americans around the nation settled into a peaceful Thanksgiving weekend and celebrated with their loved ones. A week later, the nation was viciously attacked by Japan… This Thanksgiving holiday is different from that weekend.” Well, thank God. But wait, it’s not completely different — “this time, the American people are staring at an attack on our nation and can stop it. This attack is coming from within.” This time the bomb being dropped is “the Obama/Reid/Pelosi healthcare bill,” which “is an assault on the American way of life and an affront to all the generations before us who fought to preserve and protect our cherished freedoms.” What can you do? Curl up with the bill, let its outrage seep into you, and then “pause the football games and take a break from the turkey and cranberry sauce. Talk to friends and family this weekend. Explain it to them.” No use in just spoiling your own holiday weekend!
Clark County Conservative recalls how that bastard FDR tried to “dishonor Thanksgiving” by moving it “to give shoppers more shopping time for Christmas and hopefully boost sales… The public largely ignored Roosevelt’s folly and eventually, the traditional date of celebration was reinstated in 1941 when Congress passed a law setting the date of Thanksgiving.” And look where we are today!
Some bitch about the War on Thanksgiving, as Jay Nordlinger does at National Review. “The recording at my bank said it was closed for ‘the holiday,'” a reader allegedly tells him. “Could it have killed them to say ‘Thanksgiving’?” “Will the Name ‘Thanksgiving’ Disappear?” thunders BlueRidgeForum. “Where are our ‘conservative’ politicians when it comes to supporting the public recognition of the Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions?” Probably curled up with the health care bill; can they get back to you? (Update: You may read more about the War on Thanksgiving at Christian Newswire.)
Of course, many of them know the real reason for the season — denunciation of President Obama. Turns out he didn’t say “Happy Thanksgiving!” in his Thanksgiving proclamation (he did say he was “giving thanks,” but that is a lawyerly evasion), which has Snooper’s Take Back Our Country making up swear-words: “How about a hearty Happy Thanksgiving you moosetwit!” Obama also gave a shout-out to dirty Mussulmen on Hajj. “I sure am glad that Our Dark Overlord has repeatedly assured us that he is now a Christian,” said Doctor Bulldog & Ronin, “else one might be led to believe that he is still a Muslim. BTW – Has Obama even picked a church, yet?” Creeping Sharia informs us “Obama’s ‘Christian’ grandma (from Kenya) will be a guest of Saudi king Abdullah.” Connect the dots, people!
Lame Cherry also sees signs and portents — “After Matt Drudge posted a photo of Barack Hussein Obama on his Thanksgiving extended getaway vacation in his holding only one thing, but a copy of GQ with his face on the cover, there comes a time when definitions just need to be created beyond narcissism for Bearick Bowbama as he is not like the mirror mirror in asking who is fairest of them all in love with hisself, but he is a product of fiction glamorizing hisself to deity extremes” — but not the point of sentence structure.
Even pardoning the Thanksgiving turkeys is a sign of Obama’s treason: “In pardoning ‘Courage,'” says Right Wing Swag, “President Obama makes light of the economic situation by mocking his own office’s now infamous ‘created or saved’ rhetoric.” Those damn Democrats and their so-called “jokes”!
If these words make your head swim, enjoy instead the Pajamas TV Thanksgiving video in which the PJTV crew get a buddy to dress up like a hippie and say stupid things, and then shoot him with a gun. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, and remember to displace your rage the old-fashioned way — onto your family and the Detroit Lions!
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on November 26, 2009