Surfing the web for the best post-Tiger Woods car crash humor, we have to go with Craig Ferguson in his Monday monologue:
“Economists are saying that so far holiday sales are down, but that doesn’t figure in the diamond ring that Tiger Woods is going to have to buy his wife.
“Anyway, it doesn’t necessarily mean there was any kind of domestic dispute. It’s Tiger Woods’ house. Golf clubs are everywhere. They do everything with golf clubs — cook with golf clubs, brush their hair with golf clubs. ‘Honey can you pass the meatballs?’ (Does a golf swing) ‘There you are.’ ”
Ferguson was also right-on in his response to questions of whether or not all of this will hurt Tiger’s credibility with advertisers.
“People are asking if this will cost him millions of endorsements. I say people who like golf don’t give a rat’s ass. All people who love golf care about is golf. People who love golf will buy anything he endorses. When he endorses something to do with golf, I’ll buy it.”
(Mimics Tiger’s voice) “Hi, I’m Tiger Woods. And when my wife comes after me in domestic dispute, I make sure she uses the Nike SUV Diamond Drive.”
“Will all of this hurt Tiger Woods’ game? Are you kidding? The golf course is the one place people can’t ask him personal questions. Tiger Woods is dying to get back on that golf course.”
Will golf fans forgive Tiger? Are you kidding? Does anyone remember that eleven short months ago Alex Rodriguez was the most despised man in all of baseball? What killed that? A few clutch hits in the postseason. Our favorite sign during the Yankees victory parade was “Thank you, Kate Hudson.”
If Tiger wins the Masters next year, they’ll not only forgive him, his latest girlfriend will be doing endorsements.