There are currently more than 120 Joe Jonases, at least 45 George Bushes, and exactly 13 Octomoms on Twitter. And while fake social networking profiles have been around since the dark ages of Friendster, the newest crop of Fakesters have embraced the most massive venue for Internet oversharers, the Twitterverse, and taken to revealing (or rather, imagining) the not-so-PC thoughts of celebrities from Sarah Palin to Anderson Cooper to Julius Caesar in 140-character updates. And while the site’s administrators attempt to make thousands of poser accounts add the word “fake” to their usernames, not all do. We searched out the ones that have nailed the voice and personality of their real life counterparts brilliantly. Here, our 14 favorites.
1. @FakeRahmEmanuel. Fake Rahm is a great source for fictional profanity-riddled rantings from the White House Chief of Staff. Known for its sassy hashtags (Curious George Hires a Prostitute #failedchildrensbooktitles), the phony account’s subject matter ranges from gay marriage to Twilight, with a satisfying amount of douchebaggery in between.
2. @Michael_Bay. Ballsy enough to skip the “fake” prefix, Michael_Bay draws on the rumored eccentricities of the blockbuster director, usually in relation to excessive spending and assistant abuse. His feed also frequently features nonsensical outbursts of “BOOOM!” and a manic obsession with explosives.
3. @FakeMTA. A counterpoint to the actual MTA Twitter feed, which makes such exciting announcements as “E and F train service has resumed with residual delays,” FakeMTA Tweets snarky faux-service updates that are more in line with what its passengers are truly feeling about their love/hate relationship with New York City’s temperamental mass transit.
4. @FakeAPstylebook. A grammar nerd’s wet dream started by a copy editor for the United Methodist Reporter and a Kentucky blogger, FakeAPStylebook Tweets some utterly useless, and completely entertaining gems in the form of bastardized guidelines for newspaper writing, in the style of the gruelingly traditional Associated Press book.
5. @FakeChuckNorris. While the days of shameless Chuck Norris-based humor may have come and gone, their legacy lives on through @FakeChuckNorris. Slightly more highbrow than the “Behind his goatee is another fist” breed of quips, the fellow behind this feed obviously has an undying appreciation for the legendary action hero. In all likelihood, this is actually Chuck Norris Tweeting about his miraculous strengths and giggling to himself.
6. @AC180. AC180 is a mocking play-by-play of Anderson Cooper’s supposed inner thoughts. Drawing on the prayers of every silver-fox-loving gay man that Anderson Cooper might just be into dudes, typical Tweets from the CNN 360 star are concerned with wine coolers, decorative pillows, and hating on Wolf Blitzer.
7. @Walken20. The fake Christopher Walken only has 11 Tweets ever, all from 2007, but each one is epic in its own right, and thus his feed can stand unupdated for eternity and still be an all-time favorite. The flagrant use of ellipses conjures a perfect image of the man himself delivering…each…priceless…insight. Walken20 manages simultaneously to embarrass and to honor its namesake, while giving shout-outs to Jamba Juice and footy pajamas.
8. @FakeHowardDean. Fake Howard is mostly only worthwhile for his superb ACORN-hating hashtags (“ACORN is a selfish lover”), but occasionally manages an impish charm when ragging on fellow politicians and newscasters.
9. @StephenColbert. This particular Colbert is the clear frontrunner in a sea of imposter Stephen Colbert Twitter accounts. The precision of language, and the ability to somehow deliver the Comedy Central newscaster’s cadence via tweet are dead on. A general lack of the word “truthiness,” and just the right number of messages beginning “Nation,…,” which decimate the necessary originality of the other Colberts, are also a testament to its quality.
10. @Julius_Caesar. The contradiction alone of Tweeting about both ancient kings and iPhones makes @Julius_Ceaser worth a browse, if not an immediate “follow.”
11. @FakeSarahPalin. The most amusing of the Fake Obama/Bush/Clinton set, this account and its overzealous use of Caps Lock and failed world weariness have the potential to be real (read: frightening) Sarah quotes.
12. @Zombama. Basically every public figure has a zombie counterpart in the Twitterverse, and for the most part they answer with unintelligible noises or “BRAINS!!” to anyone who replies to them. So why not start at the top with the zombie Obama account? For another slightly more literate option, follow @ZombieLimbaugh, who integrates small rightwing political “insights” into his announcements about hungering for human flesh.
13. @NatHistoryWhale. Possible the first nonliving museum installation to join Twitter, the Natural History Museum’s giant whale occasionally keeps the outside world updated on the goings on in and around his suspended home. But more often than not he posts highly entertaining, if not a touch emo, haikus about missing the glories of living in the sea.
14. @Coach_D_Antoni. The fake Twitter version of Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni voices the opinions that the real, live version can’t bring himself to say. Largely depressing, but redeemed by an abundance of Nate Robinson short jokes, fellow Knicks fans are sure to laugh until they cry–or just cry.