Out of a job? Desperate to pay your mortgage and feed your kids? The folks at something called “The Consumer Standard” have the answer: Online Poker!
Over the weekend, we noticed a pitch from PartyGaming.com, which claims that the key to protecting yourself in this economic downturn is to gamble for a living.
This struck a chord with us, since just last week we ran a cover story that was generally favorable to the idea of legalizing Internet gambling, with the rationale that partaking in that activity should largely be considered a civil liberty.
But a career choice?
“We understand that there is a shortage of jobs out there today and that most citizens are looking for ways to protect themselves,” the online come-on states. “Thousands of people are quitting their day jobs and playing poker online for a living.”
(And don’t let a little thing like it’s not yet legal in the U.S. to gamble online stop you!)
“Over the past two months,” the ad continues, “our investigative reporting team” has developed “three simple rules” for success. (Only three?)
“They use this income stream to support themselves, pay their mortgage, buy furniture, put food on the table, etc.,” the ad states.
So, what are these three simple rules? Well, rule 1 says, play low-limit games. Rule 2 says take the long view, and bet aggressively only when you have the best hand. Rule 3 says “Only play good hands, and fold if you don’t have a good hand.”
The website also contains a series of purported “regular folks” proclaiming the financial benefits of online poker. Someone called Jon H. writes: “How crazy is it that people are finding cool, interesting ways to earn extra money during tough times!? I’m signing up right now and making a $50 deposit.”
Mark S. says: “My wife and I are struggling too and this could be our answer.”
Added benefits: online poker can also reverse global-warming, bring peace to Iraq and stability to Afghanistan, and increase President Obama’s poll numbers. Deal us in!