Everyone’s fake happiness this time of year drives us crazy, and we’re not just being Scrooges, either—we’re being real, and, OK, bitter, and so what!? At least we’ve got someone ridiculously fabulous on our “Bah, humbug!” side. While some of you are pretending to be so excited to see your families, we’ll be with the ultimate drag queen of the holidays: Jackie Beat. In her 12th annual holiday show, Alcoholicdays!, she won’t be singing “Let It Snow,” but will instead be cheerfully crooning “Do Some Blow.” You’ll also hear her modern-day version of “Jingle Bell Rock” (titled “Jingle Bell Cock”) and a revamped take on Prince’s “1999”—called “2012.” Yeah, we’re feeling merry already.

Fridays, Saturdays, 7:30 p.m.; Saturdays, 9:30 p.m.; Sundays, 7 & 9 p.m. Starts: Dec. 18. Continues through Dec. 20, 2009

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