News & Politics

Study: New Yorkers Unhappiest People in America (Because We Work Hard and Read Books, Unlike Lazy, Stupid Hicks)


A study by economists Andrew J. Oswald and Stephen Wu charted the happiness levels of Americans over three years and found that New Yorkers are the unhappiest people in the country.

The happiest state is Louisiana, which has catastrophic hurricanes and serious crime, corruption, and poverty, but also laissez les bon temps roulez, which might be called the opposite of the New York state of mind.

You may read analysis by peckerwoods at places like Right Wing News (“Happiest States Are Conservative States“), and our equally lofty thoughts after the jump:

The complete list of states by happiness is here. Wu and Oswald asked subjects, “In general, how satisfied are you with your life?” and did scientific-sounding things with the data (“The study used a linear Ordinary Least Squares
estimator in which the four possible satisfaction values of the
dependent variables,” etc) to get their results.

Just above New York’s nadir are Connecticut, Michigan, Indiana, New Jersey, and California. Just below Louisiana’s zenith are Hawaii, Florida, Tennessee, and Arizona.

Already locals are complaining (“New Yorkers Object To Study Labeling Them Unhappy”), which is just like them, isn’t it, and probably why they’re so miserable.

Or we might say — as long as we’re using scientific stuff to reaffirm ancient prejudices about regional differences — that one reason our state is so unhappy is that its citizens think a lot, which is a downer. We read books and magazines with lots of words in them, and think about stuff besides how much charcoal to put on the grill and what to wear to church.

Also, we work hard and pay huge federal taxes to carry the freight for the loafers of Dixie and the Sunbelt so they can roll around in their SUVs and have a good time.

By the way, you workshy hayseeds, that’s why we voted for Obama: so he can begin to redress the balance. We are currently awaiting our fat new Socialist Welfare checks, and can feel our happiness rising already. Let’s try this study again after a few years, when we are celebrating Feasts of Reason at St. Pat’s with abortion derbies and government-funded speedballs while the decent folk down south are raging away at Tea Parties, and see what we get.



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