I Will Not Watch Jersey Shore!

MTV has created a media sensation with its hair-gel-filled Jersey Shore show about a bunch of gum popping no-brainers sharing a house in Seaside Heights.

Well, I happen to be Italian-American, and grew up in the stereotypical environs involving one too many meatballs on the table and everything covered in plastic, including the pets.

But I didn’t aspire to be a “Guido.” At the peak of my teenhood, I washed out my hair, ripped off my gold chain, took diction lessons, and actually went over the bridge to attend an Ivy League school.

Yes, I remained completely vapid, but at least I got a degree!

Let’s have a reality show about the ex Guido movement of people flushing their pomade and reaching for respectability.

That I’d watch. Maybe.