That taco looks familiar, but where the hell did it come from? Forge ahead to find out.
One of the worst aspects of the Age of Bloomberg has been the inundation of the city with nationally franchised fast food restaurants, so that now you can find McDonald’s, KFC, Taco Bell, Dunkin’ Donuts, Burger King, Jamba Juice, Chipotle Grill, and a dozen other chains in nearly every business district in the city, offering boring and repetitive menu choices of much lower quality and interest than our own homegrown fast food like pizza, hot dogs, and pastrami sandwiches. In the bizarro world of the future, these will constitute our only dining options, and the food will be shipped to the individual restaurants in big pipes that run under the streets from a central commissary that serves all chains.
Of course, accidents are inevitable, as, say, the stream of McDonald’s components ruptures and becomes muddled with KFC fixin’s. We, the consumers will be exposed to mutant forms of fast food so horrifying that we almost can’t bear to describe them. The pictures that follow should help.
The “Big Mac-and-Cheese” resulted from an accidental admixture of McDonalds and KFC components.
The “McTucky French Fry Biscuit” will be one of the new mutant foods featured on dollar menus around town.
The “Chick-o-nut” combines a piece of fried chicken with a glazed donut to form the perfect entree-dessert combo.
Taco McNuggets may soon be on every menu in New York, celebrated by consumers and tweeters alike.
Mashed potatoes in a glazed donut “pie” will surely be a big hit with fressers of the future.