News & Politics

Happy Holidays from Runnin’ Scared, the U.S. Military


You can follow Santa’s progress tonight and tomorrow via the NORAD Santa Tracker. We make no claims for the authenticity of Santa, but the site is in fact connected with the actual NORAD. Apparently it all started in 1955 when a department store put a wrong number in a Santa ad and connected surprised children to the missile defense command, then known as CONAD. Shortly thereafter, the military started offering position data on St. Nick, first by phone, then email, and now on the web.

Google partners with them now. You can use the Google Earth browser plug-in to heighten the virtual reality of the experience.

You can track our whereabouts by following the trail of wrapping paper and liquor bottles. We will be popping in here from time to time, though, when we can find someone else to hold the gun on this fat fuck who says he was coming down the chimney to leave presents. Hah! What does he take us for? Santa died in 2006!


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