News & Politics

Holiday Greetings from Our Elected Representatives!


We were unable to send Kirsten Gillibrand a birthday card because we wouldn’t put any money in it, which may explain why we didn’t get her Christmas card — ‘scuse us, holiday card; these are politicians we’re talking about. But the Observer reproduces it, so we’re going to magnet it to our fridge anyway.

Governor Paterson sent out both e-cards and paper cards showing the beleaguered governor looking properly serious — Liz Benjamin says she got the e-card, “So, I am apparently on the B list,” she sniffs. We don’t see why she’s so stung — she’s never returned any of the long, passionate letters we’ve written to her.

Barack Obama, or factota thereof, did send us a card, a video e-card at that, with our name plastered on scenes of ordinary people telling us how great we are and even signing a real card with our name! He/factota encouraged us to pass it along to others, so he could also wish them a personalized happy holiday of our choice and ask them for donations. Disappointingly, the name field refuses to acknowledge HITLER, we have discovered, so we have no screen grab of the President signing a card to him.

Buffalo assemblyman Sam Hoyt has a nice card, too, showing him with his family and also his dog, in whose house he presumably spent some time over the past few years.

We of course do not expect a card from Mayor Bloomberg, but haven’t seen any evidence that he’s sent one to other voters, either. Maybe he didn’t think the citizens were generous enough to him last month.


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