News & Politics

Flight 253 evacuated in Detroit again today


Vigilant fellow passengers and crew members of Northwestern/Delta Flight 253, the same plane involved in Friday’s terror attempt by a Nigerian-born suspect, notified authorities and led to the capture today of a Nigerian businessman who locked himself in the bathroom for, like, an hour, because he had food poisoning and the flight crew said he couldn’t use it for an hour before landing. While simultaneously being Nigerian. And it totally wasn’t the first time he used the bathroom. And he was already Nigerian then.

So anyway, then the crew broke down the door of the bathroom while he was inside and dragged him out, and he got irate and verbally aggressive. (He was already Nigerian). Or maybe it was disruptive, or maybe even verbally disruptive and, according to Delta spokeswoman Susan Elliot, “started freaking out”.

Or maybe it was that they “restrained” him, requested emergency assistance and evacuated the plane on arrival (out, Elliot said, of “an abundance of caution”) and the president was briefed about his Nigerian bathroom-going.

Well, except for him, everyone is really satisfied with how this turned out. An FBI spokesman told Fox News

Today (Sunday) at Detroit Metro Airport, the Joint Terrorism Task Force (JTTF) responded to a report from an incoming flight from Amsterdam where a passenger spent a lengthy time in the restroom. This raised concerns so an alert was raised. JTTF investigated and the investigation shows that this was a non-serious incident and all is clear at this point.”

A source familiar with the situation confirmed to Fox that the passenger was, in fact, sick (something which, if he was restrained in his seat with food poisoning, was probably reasonably apparent at that point) and referred to the whole thing as a “non-event,” except for the national news coverage and the evacuation and the being busted out of the bathroom and restrained and swooped down on by the feds for having the runs thing.

Fox also points out that the suspect was, in fact, Nigerian, and boarded the flight in Lagos, Nigeria without any (nigerian) luggage. Apparently that means something dire, although if it does mean something dire, it also means that airport security let a Nigerian (that part seems to be very important) guy who was direfully luggageless onto the same plane a Nigerian guy tried to blow up a few days ago, which is when they threw all the airports into lockdown and made up a bunch of new super-seekrit rules and stuff.

Noted: they take the ones about going to the bathroom very seriously indeed.


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