Weekend Special: Christmas Leftovers


You’ve opened all your totally enjoyable presents, eaten literally thousands of decorated Christmas cookies, knocked back bumpers of nog and wassail–now’s the time to sit back like Scrooge and take stock of the stranger Xmas apparitions…

The usual advent calendar is a paper hunk of crap with little tiny windows, openable only by the tiniest of fingers. Here’s an advent calendar that adults can get into.

This year, there were no lack of presents for obsessive coffee drinkers: the expensive half-pound bag of Stumptown, the bon bons filled with coffee fondant, the coffee-flavored mints, that new espresso machine, in addition to coffee t-shirts that say “I [heart] java!”, key rings, crested mugs, thermoses shaped like a rocket ships, and other icons of coffee consumption. But, its packaging encountered in a snow drift, here’s an Xmas coffee fantatic’s present we hadn’t counted on…


We present for your delectation the Java Log! A log that promises to smell like coffee when you burn it, or maybe it smells like the burned coffee that has sat all day warming in the office Mr. Coffee. Seriously, folks, the log is actually made of compressed used coffee grounds, so you’re doing Mother Earth a favor, I guess, except coffee grounds are totally compostable, which is infinitely preferable to combustble.

Finally, here’s a little present we’ve stumbled upon that you probably didn’t need, a kitchen implement that might be intended to scare small children…


A vegetable peeler shaped like an ape. Or is it E.T.? Or a penguin? Whatever it is, it seems to have a belly button.


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