New York

Let’s Create Some Perverse Candle Scents


Glade puts out some lovely candles that fill the air of D’Agostino with scents named Clean Linen, Angel Whispers, and Moonlit Walk and Wandering Stream. (Yes, the last two go together into one big walk-and-stream event headed right toward your nostrils.)

But if I ruled the world–or at least the Glade corporation–I’d make some scents of my own, cooking up raunchily effusive nose-tinglers that would get even more of a rise out of people.

How about:

Cummy Underwear?

Track Marks?

Cinnamon Apple Moose Testes?

Pus Ripped From a Dead Dog’s Anus?

And Moonlit Walk and Wandering Stream of Piss?

Can you think of more?

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