It would be a variation on My Fair Lady, the classic musical based on Shaw’s Pygmalion, about a street urchin who’s tutored and transformed into sophistication by some old fussbudget.
My show would be a reversal called My Fair Skanky.
In it, Eliza would be an uptown socialite who’s plucked out of a really good private school by a music producer named Henry Higgins. (I’m too lazy to think of a whole new name.)
Henry would strip away Eliza’s airs and fine breeding and turn her into a half-naked, crotch-thrusting music star that the whole world adores. Shell go on to menstruate on the VMAs, hit a hole in one in a sex tape with a golf star, and appear in public service announcements for Herpes Pride.
I’m desperate for Jamie Foxx to star as Higgins and the Pussycat Dolls to alternate in the demanding role of Eliza.
Anyone want to buy a ticket?