News & Politics

Lower Manhattan Community Board Recommends Holding Terror Trials Far Away from Themselves


You don’t usually see coverage of community board hearings in major media, but the CB1 meeting last night had to do with the trials of five terrorists in downtown Manhattan, so the press came out to see democracy in action. “Lower Manhattan Residents Fuming Over Terror Trial,” says NBC.

Attendees said 9/11, the trials would make their neighborhood a target, 9/11, and 9/11. One speaker, quoted in a few reports, said that Obama should hold the trials on the White House lawn, implying the President was a coward for having them in New York while he enjoys the safety of Washington, D.C.

Attendees also complained that the heavy security ringing the court will impede business. The citizens want the trial moved anywhere else, or Governor’s or Randall’s Island, which was the final recommendation of the board.

No one thought to propose moving the trials to a poorer neighborhood or enterprise zone, so that the local economy could be stimulated by sales of alcohol to reporters and bomb-making materials to the many terrorists everyone seems to expect at the trial.



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