Another Spider-Man Embarrassment


The lavish Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark–in the eternal process of being patched together by talented people like Bono and Julie Taymor–has been postponed more times than my colonoscopy.

But at least they’ve managed to update the name of the show. While everyone who bought tickets for January waits for this thing to garner the cash to actually move forward, the project is being ominously referred to as Marketing Unusable.

Someone who posted on a Broadway board says they just got an email from the production company Live Nation headed, “Thanks for attending MARKETING UNUSABLE at Hilton Theater.”

Continues the bemused person, “It was a survey to see how I enjoyed their most recent show that I supposedly attended–Spiderman.

“The survey said, ‘THANKS for coming to see MARKETING UNUSABLE at Hilton Theater. How was it? Was it great, good or bad? What can we at Live Nation do to help make your next show even better?’ “

Hmm. What they can do to make it better, I’d say, is to actually put on the show!

But in this hideous clime, our theater queen hearts are totally with them. And as Marvel comics is my witness, I’m sure Marketing Unusable will go back to being called Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark and it will indeed happen.

After all, my colonoscopy did!

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