Performance artist Penny Arcade answers just that burning question in my new column, which you can CLICK HERE to roll around with and enjoy a whole bunch while sipping your afternoon milkshake.
The same epic work of literature will tell you why Roastmaster General Jeffrey Ross turned down the chance to roast Mike Tyson. (And no, it’s not because he was scared shitless.)
I also generously include an interview with the witty Douglas Carter Beane, whose new play centers on married gossip columnists who totally make up their information.
And when I asked him what that has to do with little old me, Mr. Beane launched into a story about a waitress friend of his in Texas who wanted to…Well, don’t let me give it away just yet.
A gentleman never gives it away on the first paragraph.