Film

New Candidate For Worst Movie Ever Made: Dear John

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I’m as big a fan of Channing Tatum‘s looks as anyone, but even that can’t buoy Dear John from its lethargy, especially since his acting in this is on the level of a porn film.

It’s a Lasse Hallstrom-directed love story based on a novel (by the guy who did The Notebook) in which a female stick figure falls for a male stick figure, mainly because he’s cute and is nice enough to dive into the water to save her handbag.

The pace is nonexistent, the montages are drippy, and though the film manages to exploit 9/11, autism, and cancer, it’s still deeply boring–the kind of thing where you force your eyes closed even though you’re not tired, mainly because actually looking at the screen would be an act of extreme masochism.

And Tatum has no more chemistry with costar Amanda Seyfried than Richard Jenkins (as Tatum’s weird dad) does with his coin collection.

Yes, there’s a coin collection! And that totally adds to the amazing lethargy!

Alas, though the acting is porn-level, the amount of exposed flesh isn’t.

Dear John…You should have gone straight to DVD.