So this lengthy, multimedia screed (thesis: “The rush to exalt Swift is (I believe) a desperate attempt to infuse our allegedly apocalypse-bound country with a palatable conservative ideology in the form of a complacent, repressed feminine ideal”) is making the rounds. Ms. Swift is lambasted for a) blatantly promoting abstinence, b) overusing hackneyed lyrical themes (great chart for that, actually), c) not being as visually/sexually provocative as Lady Gaga, etc. Her lyrics lean on lazy high school tropes even though she was home-schooled and so forth. There’s a strange “when I have kids, they’ll listen to cool stuff” undertone, which, well, good luck. But here’s the most notable problem:
Attention everyone lamenting that Taylor’s big Grammy win portends a new era of lazy, conservative/Conservative cultural blandness: Are we all aware that 2008”s Album of the Year trophy went to Herbie fucking Hancock, doing Joni Mitchell covers? That Steely Dan beat Eminem? That the allegedly august company Swift now joins includes Natalie Cole, Norah Jones, “Smooth”-era Santana? Peep the past decade of AOTY victors and our virginal heroine comes out looking like the goddamn Sex Pistols. She will be keying dudes’ cars and dressing “sexy” and cursing up a Lil Wayne/Drake/Em storm within two years, people. I am quite certain. This is our future. It could be infinitely worse.