You may’ve heard, but Justin Halpern’s hilarious Twitter feed “Shit My Dad Says” is being made into a sitcom. Fine, but try this one on: It’s going to star illustrious shit-talker William Shatner as “Dad.” In the tradition of Al Bundy, Frank Barone, and Archie Bunker, Captain Kirk will no doubt do justice to pitch perfect lines like, “You can watch the house while I’m gone. Just don’t call me unless something’s on fire, and don’t screw in my bed.” (In fact that may just be the pilot episode right there.) Co-written by Halpern and produced by Will & Grace‘s David Kohan and Max Mutchnick, the pilot will premiere on CBS with a new, more TV-friendly moniker. Modern Family II: My Aging Father Is So Silly, perhaps?