News & Politics

Mark Sanford to Replace Tiger Woods in PETA Campaign

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“Tiger Woods Is Criminalized While Mark Sanford Gets Off Free,” some folks complained about the discrepancy in the two horny stars’ treatments (Sanford, still governor of South Carolina; Woods, committed to endless rehab in a show trial). Well, here’s your karmic restoration: PETA was using Woods in a pet-neutering billboard (“Too much sex can be a bad thing… for little tigers, too”), until his lawyers scared them off. But now PETA says it will swap in Sanford, with the proposed tagline, “Your dog doesn’t have to go to South America to get laid.” Har! That’ll show him. Maybe PETA can make a commercial out of it, and run it during the live coverage of Sanford’s divorce trial.

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