Art

Our 6 Favorite Losers in the American Apparel Best Bottom Contest

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Well, it ain’t American Idol, but American Apparel’s search for the Best Bottom in the World — which title may lead to some confusion among our many D/s readers; they mean butts — has, after 1,368 submissions, stopped taking entries and reached the semifinal stage. The whole idea of the contest has infuriated some people, but what are you gonna do. AA allows you to see the whole field by ranking — “Boom Boom,” pictured, leads the field with a 4.14, though we’re unclear on the metrics — and much is made of the top three.


A quick scan of the entrants shows that some were unclear on the concept, sending in pictures in which their bottoms were obscured, distant, or upstaged by attitude. We note that many were given grades of 0.0, which strikes us as unfair, as all bottoms are bootyful.


Being chivalrous and perverse, below the fold we reproduce six entrants to whom AA unaccountably gave sub-prime scores and who deserve wider attention.

The top 10 finishers get gifts, and the winner gets to star in an AA ad and, we’re sure, an audience with Dov Charney.

Pussycat, 0.00. We don’t get this at all. Maybe because she’s from Budapest and they didn’t want to fly her in?

Sweet Cheeks, 0.00. Don’t any black people work at American Apparel? Or even Mexicans? She reminds us of Iris Chacon.

Stache, 1.54. Brother is sty-lin’. And check it out, ladies — he has his own treadmill!

Elena Livshuk, 1.83. Dov was probably thinking, “nutcracker!” and buried this like a suppressed memory.

Electric Feel, 1.73. It’s not really a butt shot, but c’mon, it’s a hot scenario. What are you, Mormons?

Miri, 2.03. AA should just hire this whole damn crew.