Spider-Man, Shitcanned: Peter Parker Loses Photo Gig


Damn. Media homies can’t catch a break. Via Si Cantwell of Star News Online comes word that Peter Parker got canned from his gig at the Daily Bugle. Yeah. That Peter Parker.

Why? Because his assy, tabloid publisher J. Jonah Jameson, who’s now the mayor (not unlike another media brand mogul turned politico), canned Parker for using photo manipulation. Irony of ironies, Parker was manipulating photos just trying to help his shitty, abusive boss — unfairly accused of political malfeasance — clear his name. So: a guy got fired from a newspaper for trying to “do the right thing!” Yeah, tell that to Jayson Blair and Stephen Glass. Cantwell notes that he’s not the first to be part of an uproar over digital photo manipulation, which happens fairly often! He’s correct.

Except, this never happens, because a media workers don’t risk getting canned for intense ethical violations just to save the hide of an abusive boss turned asshole politician. I think there’s some kind of union preventing that kind of thing, anyway. Whatever. There are worse things to be than freelance, especially in this town. Expect to catch him regularly “doing” breakfast at Balthazar in short order. Parker’s gonna spend a few days “pulsing” his “contacts” and brainlessly refreshing MediaBistro from his new “office” at the Ace Hotel before deciding to branch off into the world of New Media “consulting” and SEO expertise. With his tainted rep as New York’s Most Unethical Photographer, he’ll likely be snapped up pretty quickly. There’s fine money in telling clueless, shameless, and deep-pocketed VCs how to get better results in Google Images by renaming your JPEGs with search terms. Also, it’ll free up plenty of time to do the whole Spider-Man thing.

For reference, a reminder of the last time Parker got fired. The guy knows what he’s doing:

Update: My bad. He apparently got fired from his job at the mayor’s office. Either way, he’s still going in the private sector. So there’s that.

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