Reason to Live in NYC #78: We’ve Got Enough Good Shrinks


Or at least, enough so that you wouldn’t have to visit yours in jail, even after they were accused of trying to murder one of their patients. With a sword. A two-foot sword. The Kentucky Enquirer reports today on Covington, Kentucky, psychiatrist Douglas Rank, whose patients actually tried to visit him behind bars.

This is while he’s standing trial for attempting to murder another one of his patients (who also happens to be his lover) by standing over her with the aforementioned two-foot sword and acting like he was going to kill her. And they’re not really allowed to see patients in jail.

We’ve got so many goddamn shrinks in New York, there are shopping guides for them. It’s awesome. Everyone you know either has a shrink or thought about getting one. Like a dog, or a pet rock. Also, goes without saying, but New York made the top five states in a 2009 survey rating mental health care by state, which may have something to do with having the third-most crazies in the country (added value: You’re not alone!). In the same survey, Kentucky ranked fourth-to-last. Granted, New York is still slow to the whole “primal sword” therapy movement, but if it catches on, you won’t have to travel far for it. At the very least, you’ll never be desperate enough to go to Riker’s just to score some Zoloft.

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