I Want My Dog to Eat Italian


A vending machine aimed at dogs on Avenue A and East 10th Street in front of a bodega, conveniently close to a cash machine, gives owners a chance to feed their dogs “liver biscotti”–how sophisticated! The picture on the vending machine shows a dog in a chef’s hat driving a taxi (an odd combination of images), and proclaims:” Baked from Scratch, All Natural, No Preservatives, Cats love ’em too!”

Naturally, I had to buy them to see if 1) they looked like biscotti, 2) what they (wince!) tasted like.

Next: The “liver biscotti” taste test

The machine dispenses the biscotti as if they were crack–two small cubes of hard pastry per thimble-size plastic cannister. If you had a big dog, she’d go away very hungry unless you bought ten.

I bought three, and cradled them in my hand. Once home, I decanted them and, I’ve got to admit, they did bear some resemblance to biscotti, especially where dryness is concerned.

I bit into one somewhat fearfully. It had no flavor whatsoever, except perhaps for a slight hint of molasses, probably more for color than flavor. A piece of stale wheat bread would have had about the same effect on my taste buds. There was zero liver flavor, which is probably why I didn’t see dogs eagerly lining up to get these treats.

Really, the dog snack didn’t taste as bad as I feared, neither am I going to stop for a handful every time I ride past.

According to the vending machine, cats like them, too!

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