Health Care Bill Passes: America Does “Walk of Shame,” Satan Appointed to Cabinet Position


Good morning, Komrades! In case you didn’t hear, health care legislation passed last night, and for all of our new readers who’re getting to know your new socialist regime a little better, let me introduce you to the Village Voice, wherein by “Village” we mean “America” and by “Voice” we mean “anyone but your own, especially that of Glenn Danzig.” Hope you’ve stocked up on bottled water because it’s the last you’re going to have before we start needling it out of you Tank Girl-style. Welcome to Your New America. Terrifying, isn’t it?

In case you didn’t hear, the health care bill passed, and it basically brought out the worst in everyone.

Black and gay legislators on the ground were screamed at with racial and homophobic slurs; a legislator who won’t come forward screamed “baby killer” at Michigan Democrat Bart Stupak; news networks openly contravened the idea of objectivity; people were Tweeting death threats against the president; and the final word that more of less epitomizes the scale of the rhetoric at which this issue was being debate on was Representative Mike Pence of Indiana telling his fellow legislators that America is “breaking history” by voting the health care bill into play.

The health care bill’s greatest accomplishment is that it brought out some of the very worst of America for the rest of the world to see at the most base level possible, and truth is a virtue you can’t legislate. To put it in blunt terms, America put the weight of health care of people they don’t have to give a shit about on themselves. And some people in America have a problem with that because they’d rather see those people die than pay a small penance for them to live.




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