News & Politics

There’s Always Room for Sand in the Jell-O


Sometimes crime is just tragic. Tragic like Hamlet. Tragic like Jell-O. Tragic like, in fact, the case of the Clements, an East Northport couple in their 60s arrested yesterday for purchasing packages of Jell-O pudding mix, filling them with sand, and returning them to the store for refunds, where the boxes were summarily restocked and sold to unwitting Jell-O-loving customers.

According to NBC New York, “Christine Clement bought the boxes from four Long Island stores, removed the contents and refilled them with a mix of salt and sand before returning them for refunds, police said. There was no indication of any intent to harm anyone, only to get the pudding mix without having to pay for it.”

And then, presumably, she went home and cooked up a whole mess of pudding.

But, guys! Haven’t you seen CSI? Law and Order? That show Bones? You never return to the scene of the crime, much less get a receipt for it! Beyond that, Jell-O is about the cheapest thing you can buy at the grocery store. Let’s do the math: Multiple counts of petit larceny and tampering with a consumer product vs. a $3 savings. If something’s nearly free, it’s not really worth stealing, you dig?

Take a cue from Jean Valjean and snag a loaf of bread next time. Preferably with some good cheese, and maybe a bottle of something Belgian. Or at least some
Pudding Pops. Now, those were tasty.


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