A post from EV Grieve this morning alerted us to an Internet-savvy gentleman who’s located a suitcase full of moolah ($78,383, to be exact, and my accountant says that when things are in odd numbers like that, they’re usually true!) on the Lower East Side. Out of the goodness of his heart, and possible fear of being targeted by mobsters, the finder is seeking to find its proper owner via the power of Craigslist.
I thought I would at least post this. If you can describe the other items inside I will return. If not I am taking to the Police and after no one claims it I think I can legally own this. It is real hard posting this. But I know it is the right thing to do.
Now, we at the Voice don’t have a ton of experience with suitcases full of money, except on crime shows, and then they’re usually indicators of bad news. So we have some suspicion about this particular suitcase and its authenticity, but we hope that New Yorkers as a lot are good eggs — a quick perusal of Craigslist’s Lost and Found listings confirms this assessment. Never have so many people wanted to get so many valuable things — jewelry and dignity and everything — back to their proper owners!
And so, with these hopes in our heart, we have contacted this particular hopefully good egg to get some specific details as to the money (was it a lot of Franklins, and some Hamiltons? Did the suitcase have my initials on the luggage tag?). Because, you know, it could be ours.
Also, Seth Benjamin, didn’t your mother teach you to keep your passport in a safe place? We hope, at least, that you’re wearing clean underwear.