New York

Matsuri Celebrates Japanese Festival With Phallic Menu


Want to eat some cock?

Then book a table at Matsuri at the Maritime Hotel for this Thursday’s phallic feeding frenzy.

The press release says it all:

“Join Matsuri in honoring The Penis Festival, a traditional celebration of fertility in Japan where natives and tourists alike blow off steam and pay tribute to all things phallic.

“For the first week of April, the streets of Kawasaki stand erect with phallic see-saws, penis carving contests, and edible sweetmeat manhood replicas all in the name of fertility, or ‘Kanamara Matsuri.’

“Along the same vein at NYC’s Matsuri restaurant, Chef Tadashi Ono will offer his tongue-in-cheek take on the festivities with a one-night-only Penis Matsuri menu on, of course, April Fool’s Day.

“The day’s festivities are in partnership with Planned Parenthood Federation of America, which will be giving guests complimentary Jeremy Scott for PROPER ATTIRE® condoms*.”

Among the mouth-watering menu items:

“Get It Up Hot Pot,” “Big Sausage,” and “Hard Banana Cream Pie.”

Or just go to Sarah Palin’s house and eat shit.

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