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Oh, Gawd, It’s Still Raining: A List of Alternative Talking Points | Village Voice


Oh, Gawd, It’s Still Raining: A List of Alternative Talking Points


Despite having survived the Great Summer of Wetness ’09, it seems we tri-staters are having a hard time with this recent spate of precipitation.

Yes, we’re only 2 inches away from the “wettest March on record” (in 1973, 10.5 inches). Yes, rivers have flooded, trees have fallen, power has been spotty in places at best. Weary Wamed Mansour of Paterson, New Jersey, speaks for all of us when he tells NBC New York, “It’s been a really tiring few weeks.”

But we’d like to point out that the only thing duller than consistent rainfall is consistently talking about consistent rainfall. In the interest of serving you readers to the best of our ability, we’d like to present a few alternative talking points. When you feel your mouth about to go for the “r” word, instead, how about saying…

• “Wow, I really like that last blog post you wrote.”
• “Did you know that people in New York actually use their refrigerators and ovens to store shoes?”
• “Governor Paterson is proposing a $29 million cut to the operating budget of the Parks Department, which would mean closing 91 of our state parks. I don’t like that at all! What can we do about it?”
• “What’s a ‘kitchenista’, anyway?”
“Sandra Bullock and that overalls-wearing man-ho Jesse James are getting a divorce!”

And, if all else fails, “Did you hear it’s going to be 68 degrees and sunny on Thursday?”

You can thank me for this then.

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