If we’ve learned anything from PETA, it’s this: if you’re trying to promote a cause, the most effective, if not subtle, way to get your message across is to use boobies, or some other means of conveying that someone, somewhere, is getting laid. Hence the organization’s Sexiest Vegetarian Alive contest, which this year has spawned the more locavorish Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door contest.
A quick scan of the finalists suggests that vegetarians are no less susceptible to silicon breast implants than non-vegetarians, and also seem to enjoy outdoor recreation. Which leads us to agree with our friends at Runnin’ Scared, who have asserted that vegetarians may actually be less sexy than condimentarians, whose facility in plumbing the erotic depths of balsamic mayonnaise and Sriracha is arguably much more alluring than the consumption of soy patties. That said, it’s all in the eye — or intestinal lining — of the beholder, as we will undoubtedly learn on April 14, when PETA announces its winners.