News & Politics

What Else Can the RNC Spend $1,946 on Besides Strip Clubs?


Politics: often tenuous. Money management in a turbulent economy: sometimes difficult! Money management in a turbulent economy, for a political organization representing a platform that revolves heavily around quote-unquote family values? A tough gig! And sometimes, mistakes — like spending $1,946 at an S&M-themed nightclub, and then having the reimbursement for it played out in public after the charges are attributed to your boss, the head of the organization — happen.

The Republican National Committee learned that one the hard way. One of their staffers, Allison Meyers, was fired after word got out that an expense had shown up on the RNC’s balance sheet for a hot night at a nightclub. Apparently, she was taking out members of the RNC’s “Young Eagles” program who were in L.A. for a meeting.

The poor girl’s going to be dragged through the mud on this one. But why? Really, though: Taking out Young Republicans for a night of hedonistic S&M fun will probably prepare them for their futures far better than anything else they’ve experienced thus far as Young Eagles. If anybody has the-taking-of-pleasure-in-delivering-and-receiving-intense-pain thing down, it’s the Republican party.

That said, the real reason she should have been fired is because the money could’ve been put to far, far more efficient use that night. Thus, some ideas for where the RNC could allocate every last Red Republican Cent of that $1,946 to entertain their Young Eagles for what’s to come:

  • Big erasers. Lots of them.
  • Jacob the Jeweler Jesus Elephant Chains for RNC Chairman Michael Steele.
  • Four weeks of secretly soliciting closeted gay sex in the pages of the Village Voice. Something’s bound to turn up. Get in now while you still can. We just had an opening. Pause.
  • Approximately 2,600 Nose Flutes.
  • Stripper pole ($315). Which leaves $1,631 for strippers.
  • 24 tablets of Oxycontin at “street value.” Leaves $26 for a pack of Reds and “a rack of Wocky.”



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