Fool Me Once, Then Pardon Me While I Pummel You Senseless


In case you’ve been a bit submerged with that whole census thing, we just wanted to give a friendly heads-up that today is officially April 1, which means: Your census is now due. And, oh yeah — watch your back.

The “holiday,” if you can call it that (as no one bought us a present, we don’t), is said to hail from 16th-century France, like just about everything else. King Charles did some monkeying with the calendar, moving New Year’s from the end of March to January 1 — and, I’m sure, giggling like a madman — an act which generated a wave of chuckleheads putting paper fish onto the backs of unwitting spring celebrators who hadn’t gotten the memo and dubbing them “Poissons d’Avril.” Aren’t folks hilarious?

Since that heady time, April Fools’ jokes have digressed a bit, with people resorting to Alex Trebek and Pat Sajak, fake poo, outright lies, and a belief, however unwarranted, that their friends, family, and constituents will fall for anything and then laugh about it when they’re told they’re idiots.

So unless you’ve discovered an actual hotheaded naked ice borer and have verifiable proof, please, don’t go telling us about it.

Consider yourself warned.