Global Warming Is Killing Cute


Bunnies, adult women dressed as bunnies, and now — adorable, innocent, helpless, furry little seal pups?

We are very sad to have learned, via the New York Times, that although a mild winter has led to fewer hunters mercilessly bludgeoning the poor things to death, they’re dying anyway, likely due to global warming and a corresponding scarcity of ice (where females give birth).

This line gets the award for saddest image evoked all Friday:

In Port au Choix, Newfoundland, and other communities around the gulf, hundreds of desperate harp seals arrived in late winter to give birth on fragments of ice clinging to the shoreline. Then, a few weeks ago, seal pups born elsewhere began floating in on small, shrinking pieces of ice.

This is too painful. Please, God, spare the pups. Take Justin Bieber instead.