On April 12, KFC’s Double-Down Sandwich Will Bear Down Upon Us Like a Train Without Brakes


Hey, America! Why pay one angel’s hair of attention to what Michelle Obama, Jamie Oliver, and those killjoys at the American Heart Association are telling you when KFC keeps giving us moist, crunchy ways to kill ourselves, one bite at a time? There are now a little more than nine days left until the world’s most loyal consumer of factory-farmed chickens rolls out its already fabled new Double-Down Sandwich, which, by encasing bacon, cheese, and “Colonel’s sauce” between two slabs of deep-fried poultry, promises to double up your daily fat, calorie, and sodium consumption. KFC has helpfully posted both a countdown clock and nutritional content on its website, which is a little like being given the chance to see exactly when and how you’ll die. With any luck, the primary ingredient in the Colonel’s sauce is Lipitor.

Want to try making your own Double Down? Here’s a recipe.