Who will be the casualty of Lennon-McCartney night? All bets are off after last night’s truly weird show. Tim Urban and Katie Stevens singing well? Crystal Bowersox referring to Lee DeWyze and Andrew Garcia’s Danny Gokey babies? What’s happening here?
9:02pm. Let’s guess who will be in tonight’s bottom three, because there’s nothing better to do right now while Ryan jabbers. Aaron Kelly, Andrew Garcia, and here’s a wild pick, Siobhan Magnus. Maybe?
9:03pm. Kara looks like she was styled for a Ren Fair ball. The crew discuss what they will be donating to Idol Gives Back next(?) week.
9:05pm. Group sing! Everyone in black and white. Lee DeWyze opens it with an uncomfortable falsetto. Michael Lynche and Aaron Kelly follow suit. Crystal sounds weirdly Broadway. I think they might actually be singing, that’s the only explanation for how bad this sounds, until they get to the chorus of whatever Lennon-McCartney song this is and it’s canned again.
9:11pm. Ford music video! Kaleidoscope effects. Audible screaming when Lee DeWyze appears, or is that a siren? A didgeridoo? Who knows anymore.
9:14pm. Siobhan is first up. Kara weighs in on Siobhan’s weirdly mellow performance, and I simply don’t understand how she got so tan between last night and tonight.
9:15pm. Ryan tells Siobhan, Crystal, and Katie to the center of the stage (note: not the bottom three stools). Katie says she sang “Let It Be” for her grandma–who in case we forgot, has Alzheimer’s. And in case Katie forgot what she sang last night, it’s actually written on her shirt.
9:17pm. All three girls are safe. We’re losing a guy tonight. New guess: Aaron Kelly, Andrew Garcia, and… Tim Urban? Maybe the judges’ praise last night was really a deathwish.
9:22pm. Jason DeRulo made a song lyric out of his own name, and a realllly long medley out of his only two songs. Ryan asks Kara why she signed DeRulo and she said it’s because he’s a great songwriter. “He has TWO songs,” she says proudly. Simon congratulates DeRulo for his performance, clearly having never even heard of him till tonight.
9:31pm. Oh gawwwwd it’s David Archuleta doing “Imagine.” I thought one heavy-lidded old-man-voiced teenager trying to make purposeful faces while making a great Lennon-McCartney tune boring was enough this week.
9:35pm. More results. Ryan splits the guys into two groups. 1: Lee DeWyze, Casey James, Tim Urban; 2: Michael Lynche, Aaron Kelly, Andrew Garcia.
9:42pm. Group 2 is the Bottom 3. Aaron Kelly is sent immediately back to safety. If Mike comes in last, the judges could use the save…
9:48pm. Catwoman makes an appearance under the stage name of Rihanna. A backup dancer sharpening stone weapons on her belly.
9:55pm. Realllllly long commercial break, still going on….
9:56pm. Holy moly, Andrew Garcia is safe! Michael Lynche sings “This Woman’s Work.” Oh yeah, he’s totally getting saved.
9:58pm. Awww, his wife was just bawling during that. Simon barely tries to string Mike along before delivering the news that he gets to come back next week. So two will go home on Adam Lambert week. Mike’s all self-congratulatory, but what the hell, why not?