Happy Thursday to all! Here’s your news roundup for today.
• We broke records yesterday; heat records, that is: At 1:57 p.m. Central Park hit 92 degrees, breaking the record of 89 degrees set April 7 in 1929. Fortunately, these days we can get away with a bit less clothing (people were wearing shorts! Shorts!). Today will be a bit more reasonable — high 70s instead of low 90s — but you can continue to go on about how hot it was yesterday until about 2 p.m., when we’ll ask you — respectfully, of course — to shut the hell up.
• The U.S. and Russia might be becoming BFFs! President Obama and President Dmitri Medvedev of Russia sat next to each other at a fancy desk and signed some papers saying that we will not blow each other up unless it’s truly necessary, but will instead turn our ire upon Iran. It was a virtual love fest, reports the New York Times: “They whispered and smiled with each other in English as they sat side by side signing copies of the so-called New Start treaty, then traded compliments during a follow-up exchange with reporters.” (Tyra, we know you can smile with your eyes, but can you smile in English?)
• United is pimping itself out to U.S. Airways to get back at Continental. Really! “United has been standing at the altar waiting for the bride to show up and just got tired of waiting,” said Mo Garfinkle, a longtime airline industry consultant. “Maybe by flirting with another girl, it can get Continental’s attention again.” United, sometimes that backfires.
• Meanwhile, British Airways and Iberia have totally hooked up and, in a rather misleading headline, “China Offers High-Speed Rail to California.” Where are the New York Times‘ copy editors today? Plus:
Morons Diplomats now smoking on planes!
• Children of the sizzled flesh found relief yesterday when kindly workers installed festival tents over the glowing orbs of pain in Brooklyn Bridge Park. And in other Brooklyn news, three men were shot near Prospect Park after midnight last night; no injuries were life-threatening.