Mike Bloomberg Isn’t Exactly Crazy About the Return of Eliot Spitzer


Eliot Spitzer could’ve been caught with his dick in Joseph Bruno’s ear, after having wrapped it in unmarked $100 bills, as he wore nothing else but black socks and the Communist Flag while singing Harry Nilsson’s “Rainmaker” in a deal engineered by Alexandra Ashley Dupre, who’s also acting as the de facto camera-person for the entire thing… and it would still pale in comparison to the personal and political mess of Albany sitting Governor David Paterson has managed to make since Spitzer resigned. That said, Mayor Bloomberg — a politically savvy, three-term oligarch — seems a little tepid about Spitzer’s chances at putting together a political comeback.

Via the New York Observer, he noted as much in a press conference today in a question about former New York governor Eliot Spitzer’s potential for political office these days, yielded by today’s New York Times Thursday Styles cover story talking about what a great gossip blogger former governor he is. Listen as Bloomberg makes the most nondescript, bored, glazed-over, unamused, coy assessment of Spitzer’s chances at any number of positions that Bloomberg could theoretically be up for one day. Except for that of volunteering. Like community service. You know, like criminals do.

That pungent smell that just wafted through your computer screen, it kinda resembles fear, maybe? Or maybe the stench of a nearby litterbox. Because that shit was catty, yo. In the meantime, Spitzer’s already rearing in the talk of his return to politics, though his friends in the press are getting jumpy just thinking about it. Can’t blame them, though: If politicians like Bloomberg are getting prickly at this juncture, the ensuing mania that’d come with a full run at office for Spitzer would be nothing if not an absolute blast.