On this wonderful morning, take a minute to imagine what it would be like to be so foreign and so out of touch that you scrambled to hire a big-time publicist to fight rumors started about you on Facebook. Then, close your eyes for a second and think about what it would be like to look like Christina Hendricks. Or to dance like Pamela Anderson. Or to watch Anderson dance on TV while eating $500 worth of candy. Such is the life of the celebrity. But at least you’re not George Lopez. All this gossip and more, inside:
- You can’t make this up: Socialite Janna Bullock hired a publicist to fight a Facebook campaign charging that she runs an upscale horse hunting safari where men ride around in cars and shoot mustangs with poison. Killing horses! In cars… with poison. The source? Facebook. Hiring a publicist for this is like bringing a car and poison darts to a horse fight. Why does no one understand how the Internet works? [Page Six]
- Ten-thousand women across American selected Mad Men‘s Christina Hendricks to represent them on the cover of the May issue of Esquire as The Best-Looking Woman in America. Hendricks snagged 30 percent of the vote, topping Adrina Lima’s 17 percent and Megan Fox’s 14 percent. Fox’s gross thumbs scored 11 percent of the vote and Justin Bieber topped out at 9 percent. [Celebutopia]
- Jersey Shore‘s The Situation once filed for unemployment just over a month before the show started airing on MTV, qualifying his story as a case of divine intervention and making it ripe for a Lifetime movie. [Daily News]
- Speaking of Jersey Shore, gossip’s Ronnie and Sammi, Rush & Molloy, have the dirt on the “conventions” held by ex-wives of Larry King, but note that it’s unclear where his latest wife will fit in because she lasted over a decade. Their source compares King in a divorce to “Sully Sullenberger landing a plane on the Hudson,” which might be the worst analogy ever considering Sully did it once and King is on numero ocho. [R&M]
- It’s not exactly a bold leap to say that George Lopez might be unhappy with TBS’s decision to bring on Conan O’Brien and that he’s faking his enthusiasm. You know when you were in school and there was one kid who cracked all the jokes — the class clown, they called him — and though he wasn’t the funniest, everyone was just glad that someone would distract from the day-to-day drudgery of coloring or worksheets or whatever it was you were learning? Then, the new kid comes along and he’s gawky and has red hair and came from a cooler school with better jokes and ultimately more friends? Yeah, George Lopez is not funny. [P6]
- Sometimes you just need a life update on Tommy Lee. Turns out he watches Pam Anderson on Dancing With the Stars and is so proud of her for keeping her balance. The idea of the two of them still being “pals” does a lot to restore America’s faith in love; it’s truly a great romance of the 21st century. Also, randomly, he bought their kids $500 worth of candy. The more you know! [P6]
Let’s have a splendid Sunday, eh? Call me.