The Daily News front page today is all about how Mort Zuckerman’s friend Mayor Mike Bloomberg is feeling hurt by the White House’s failure to give him a heads-up about President Obama’s Cooper Union visit to deliver a speech on financial reform.
The Voice has obtained an exclusive transcript of the call Howard Wolfson, the deputy mayor for intergovernmental affairs, got from David Axelrod shortly after a pouting Mike complained that he’d read about the president’s visit on the blogs. Ever since the Iowa primary in 2008, the National Security Council automatically records all contacts between onetime Hillary hit man Wolfson and Axelrod to see if the words “PETN” or “nitroglycerin” are used. If they are, surveillance cameras focused on the shoes of both combatants are triggered.
AXELROD: Howard, long time no talk. How’s life on our blacklist?
WOLFSON: Not bad, David. Found a billionaire you can’t get to. Want to compare bonuses?
AXELROD: I know the guy. We gave Mike a pass in 2009. Screwed Bill Thompson. So your guy says thank you by pissing on health care, pissing on financial reform, and scoping us out for an Independent run in 2012. Does he want to come to the speech so he can represent Goldman?
WOLFSON: Still have my copy of Michelle’s secret race speech, old buddy. Just one of the nuggets Hillary wouldn’t let us use that I hauled out of the trash bin. Mike’s been gentle so far.
AXELROD: Is Mike still offering a billion for Biden’s spot on the next ticket?
WOLFSON: He put it in a CDO and is betting it against you.
AXELROD: We know why McConnell and the Senate Big Boys are railing against our bill. It’s money on the table for them. But what’s Mike up to? Is his idea of tapping into populist anger limited to the Gang in Greenwich?
WOLFSON: If we’re on the opposite side of everything you do, we’re bound to get it right once in a while and we’ve got a billion to spend to remind people how right we were. Sucker-punched you on the Khalid trial. You’ll never know when we’re going to do it again.
AXELROD: I didn’t see Mayor Mike say a word about St. Vincent’s Hospital being too small to succeed. Just let it shut. Noticed he skipped the Greek Parade, disappeared since Thursday, but managed to get on Morning Joe at the crack of dawn Monday. Odd priorities for a man who threw the charter out the window for a third term.
WOLFSON: Priorities? You talk to me about priorities? When are you guys getting to jobs? Second term? If it weren’t for recess appointments, the country would be over 10 percent again.
AXELROD: Hear you’re lining up the so-called independents — Bayh, Lieberman, Chaffee, and now Crist. Once McCain’s re-elected, he’s moving toward you too. But you can only put one of them on the ticket. I understand how you and Sheekey and Schoen and Tusk get rich at this game, but what does Mike get?
WOLFSON: Big. Bigger than ever. And if the choice is a Mormon, a black guy and a Jew, maybe president.
AXELROD: See you on Thursday. I read where Bloomie claims he talks to Ray Kelly every morning. We thought Kelly would tell him we were coming. Next time we come to town, I’ll have Hillary call you. Maybe that will work as well as it did in Iowa.
WOLFSON: Or as well as Massachusetts worked for you.