“Each affair is a new and exciting trip through the joys of jubilation.” No, that isn’t Ryan Cabrera on his latest dalliance with the D-listed and vajazzled. It’s Rocks Off Cruises describing their booze-fueled jaunts. Cabrera has always been known more for his relationships and Yahoo Serious-like hair than his music. His chart pinnacle was in 2004 with the syrupy pop Hot AC hit “On the Way Down,” and while his ’08 effort went the indie route, his product still sounds like Jesse McCartney in a tug-off Thunderdome with Lifehouse. Still, if the Temptress, the Jewel, or the Paddlewheel Queen have anything to say about it, this gig won’t be pure water torture. Those are boats, btw, not Cabrera’s starlet ex-girlfriends.
Fri., April 23, 8 p.m., 2010