Following so closely on the heels of the great What-Rich-Guy-Owns-That-Fancy-Apartment? caper that it might actually be stepping on them, we are faced with yet another mystery that calls out for answering. People Pets (yes, that’s an offshoot of People People) teases us mercilessly with this intriguing headline:
Why Scarlett Johansson’s Chihuahua ‘Smells Like Ham’
We diligently scan the 148 words of the piece, and yet the mystery remains unsolved. Does Scarlett’s plastic grocery bag (not very environmental, ScarJo!) contain a ham hock? Are her sweatpants lined in bacon? The dog does look sprightly, perhaps she’s just enjoyed a HoneyBaked?
We’re left wondering aimlessly, sadly, hungrily, what it all means, with only this to wrap our brains around:
“Maggie is the little ham. She looks like a ham — and sometimes she smells like a ham!”
Vanity Fair, please help.