News & Politics

On Michael Bloomberg Writing a Poem and Rhyming “Hawk” with “New Yawk”

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Today is New York’s 8th annual Poem in your Pocket (PIYP) day, during which we’re all supposed to find our inner bard, create original lyrical works of disparate quality, and share them with our acquaintances throughout the day.

What’s that? You missed the first seven years of PIYP day? Well then, here’s your chance to make it up. And as an extra morsel of encouragement, one Mr. Michael Bloomberg, poet laureate of mayors, has also composed a poem (this is where the disparate quality comes into play), in which he name drops Twitter and rhymes “hawk” with “New YAWK.” [Capitalization his.]

While normally we would suggest that there’s not a chance in hell Bloomberg actually composed these four melodious stanzas, the PIYP day fates have allowed a cheat, a loophole in the actual process of poeting that might just make us into believers. That, and this poem’s pretty fucking awful, so there’s a decent chance an aide just watched over his shoulder and cringed as he shat this one into existence.

The PYIP authorities recommend a classic writing exercise for the uninspired versifier: Write the first line of a published poem on an envelope and then give it to someone else to write their own poem based on that line. After his first two drafts, “Where the Bike Lane Ends” and “Stopping by Giuliani’s Condo on a Snowy Evening,” were abandoned, he took a turn for the safe zone, uplifting bird metaphors. His poem, titled “Hope” (vom), is based on Emily Dickenson’s “Hope is the Thing with Feathers.”

“Hope” NYC
By Mike Bloomberg (for realzeeez!)

“Hope” is the thing with feathers
That makes our City soar
It will take us to the future
As it’s carried us before

Hope is the thing with feathers
That travels all our streets
It sings in every language
It sometimes even tweets

And though we may not see it
It perches everywhere
In new shops and small businesses
In every schoolroom chair

It could be our famous pigeon
Or fabled red-tailed hawk
Hope is the thing with feathers
That flies throughout New YAWK

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