The Plaza Gets a Perfume… Now, What about the 9th Avenue Underpass?


Hooray for the Plaza, and for people who would like to smell like the Plaza — i.e., “grace, beauty, elegance, and style” — for a mere $95 per 1.7-ounce bottle. Krigler, a fifth-generation New York City-based fragrance house (eau de fancy!), has created an exclusive scent for the hotel. It’s called (wait for it) “The Plaza,” and has “top notes that include bergamot, grapefruit, and iris, with undertones that include amber and leather.” No idea what that means? Us neither. But we are suddenly, nostalgically, reminded of Project Runway Season 5.

Anyway, it’s so exciting that places in New York are finally getting their own bottled odors of record! May we suggest the following to our dear friends at Krigler?

“Mole Life”: Revel in the oddly pleasurable scent of your own sweaty pits and animal instincts laid bare as you wend your way blindly through the 9th Avenue Underpass just west of Port Authority. Top notes of humanity’s defeat, undertones of peeing yourself, with a pickle juice chaser.

“Little India, Big World”: Just as the kitchens on 6th Street are all connected, so are we connected in the world with this multicultural curry-based scent that will leave you hungering for more. Top notes of garlic naan, undertones of garlic naan. And those crispy cracker thingies.

“T Square-d”: If you can pull off burning chestnuts, taxi fumes, and the whimsical aroma of “Do you like comedy?”/”Can I ask you a question about your hair?” this is your new signature fragrance. Top notes of Midwestern values and fanny packs, undertones of get me the hell outta here NOW before I shank someone.

“Blogger’s Lament”: Don’t shower until noon — or don’t even shower, just spritz yourself with this freshener combining that Maker’s Mark you found on your bedside table with an Advil rinse. You’ll enjoy the tobacco-ey kick, thanks to a cigarette-butt floater. Can also be used as mouthwash. No top notes, but undertones provide excellent buzz, as well as deep, deep shame.