Lion Cub-Naming Contest Almost Certain to Result in Parental Naming Regret


Remember that New York Times article on parental naming regrets that addressed totally neurotic stereotypical Times readers good parents who felt so much guilt over naming their little girl “Presley” when she just didn’t look like a “Presley” that they endured lengthy legal proceedings to get her name changed to “Summer”?

Well, that’s kinda just like what’s happening with the new Bronx Zoo lion cubs. The Daily News thought it would be fun to hold a contest asking people to submit possible names which the zoo will then choose from. Unfortunately, the names seem to hail from the pages of the Posh & Becks handbook, or a New York City street guide. With the exception of “Bret Michaels,” of course, which may be the definitive lion cub name.

Suggestions include the following:
• Brook-Lyn, Queenie, and Bronxie
• Shea, Tribeca, and Brooklyn
• Belmont, Morrisania, and Melrose
• Babe, Ruth, and Jeter
• Bret Michaels, Arizona, and LeBron

And this is precisely why one should really turn to the parents of baby lions for good lion baby names instead of getting all up in their business and naming them after a baseball player/borough/America’s almost next top model. Anyway, gratuitous cuteness here!