The Most Epic Hipster Break-Up Text Message, Ever


File this under legendary Texts From Last Night, as what you’re about to see is one of those rare circumstances where it’s absolutely impossible not to invoke The Sacred H-Word. Assuming this is real, this is dictionary-definition-level Capital-H Hipsterism and Cultural Snobbery, taken to an entirely new level. UPDATE! We found the recipient of the text!

The following is from an anonymous Tumblr account called How Hipsters Date, which claims to be “Made in Brooklyn, NY”; their Twitter notes that whoever’s running it is running it out of Williamsburg. Which could be written off as part of the joke if it weren’t so true-it’s-not-funny type true.

Please, for the sake of humanity, will the recipient of the following text please come forward:

So we can document the type of individual who has caused the denizens of Brooklyn and People Who Listen To Animal Collective And Live In Williamsburg Who Will Tell You That They Aren’t A Motherfucking Goddamn Hipster, Whatever That Is a collective migraine of identity for future generations to come. Then again, honesty of this stripe is so, so rare. Unfortunately, the stupidity and insensitivity that construct the rest of the One Glib Motherfucker Trifecta required to put this kind of thing out into the universe definitely is not. Therein lies another benefit of whoever sent this coming out: Geotagging this phenomenon is the first step to answering the question of whether or not there’s an inordinate concentration of individuals like this in the 11211.