Today we got our proof that collecting Twitter followers is the new Googling yourself: the ultimate gauge of awesomeness, and a testament to our undying self-importance. Following a glitch this morning that allowed people to force accounts to follow them by tweeting “accept [name],” all follower/following counts temporarily went “offline” and were reset to zero… and then the Twitterverse imploded.
Suddenly our hard earned measure of popularity, ReTweetability, and trending topic participation was, poof!, nonexistent. There was an immediate outpouring of “WTF” and “!!??!?!?!” messages @Twitter, followed by a moment of realization: Our repute, now marked by a big fat “0,” meant that we were now not only equal to any old casual user, but also to Twitter royalty like @aplusk (Ashton Kutcher) and @iamdiddy, who both publicly freaked out about the bug. We may have been launched back to the meager beginnings of our Twitter existence, but at least we were there with @the_real_shaq.
Twitter almost immediately fixed the bug and everyone’s followers were restored, but for a glorious window of like two hours we scampered around the trending topics–#0followers, #twitterstolemyfollowers, #thedaytwitterexploded — collecting the top 10 most amusing, horrified, and self-obsessed reactions.
Papa and Puff both make our list.
This tweet almost cured us of following Dave Itzkoff, if we didn’t agree with him so hard about Betty White.
11 exclamation points, 3 emoticons.
0/0 is a joke. –Washington Post
His bio says he’s a “healer.” Should we DM him?
Three hours later… “Holy shit – kittens on a slide.”
The pinnacle of ironic irony.
Surviving the Tweetpocolypse?! Who does he think he is, @jesus?
The screen printed tees will be ready by tomorrow.
Twitter changes “0 following” to “no one seems to be concerned about this, hmm”