The “Kids” these days! They’re so easily distracted. Even, apparently, from sex. Because some of them are picking up their phone and texting while having it.
According to an AdAge piece – “Report Reveals Surprising News About Social Media and Its Grip on Our Lives,” with the notable, tragic lack of a [Kung Fu] parenthetical – lots of people will pick up the phone to text while in the bathroom (of course), during a meeting (obviously), while eating (naturally). But also: in the middle of sex. To shoot out a text. Prematurely. As in, before the sex is finished. Which, at that rate, they shouldn’t deserve to have dignified, no?
Would you answer a text during sex? If you’re younger than 25, one in 10 of you would. The 25-plus age group was half as tolerant to electronic interruptions compared to the younger under-25 set. The 25-plus age group was half as tolerant to electronic interruptions compared to the younger under-25 set.
What this report fails to understand about young people, however, is that we’re young. And thus, not naive enough to do anything but laugh at sentences like this:
While not that many people actively engage in social media during sex, they do in bed.
…..Because we know how the electronic things work, because most of us learned how to text before we took AP US History, and thus, can have sex and text at the same time, because old people’s sad old frail fingers had to pick up these new tricks later in life. Old people are taking classes to learn how to Twitter at Columbia, which is like getting an Ivy League education in opening the fridge. Also, we’re virile, and our sexual organs are working better than those of The Olds’. Sorry, but, it’s true. We’re fucking like bunnies and mashing buttons and can’t stay focused on no less than nine things at a time, and basically, you people are just jealous.